Interview with an Ex-Vampire –
A True Story
SATURN & THE CATHEDRAL OF PAIN
S: Why did you eventually join the Church of Satan?
B: Well, I had been introduced to the Satanic Bible by this friend of mine who owned an occult bookstore in Milwaukee.
And originally, of course, Witches are told to beware of Satanists, they believe the Church of Satan is evil and all that.
But as I read it I realized that basically the magickal concepts in the book were pretty similar to the magickal concepts that are taught by Wicca except that they were more honest and more open about what the true source of the power was.
And it was like a gradual thing of seduction.
You start out and then you read a little bit and then you kind of deceived and then you read a little bit more.
It’s kind of like the nose of the camel in the tent.
Before you know it, the whole camel is in the tent.
And I contacted the Church of Satan and they said, “We will send you our newsletter. You will learn a whole lot more than what is in these two books.”
Because at that time he had two books,.
He had “The Complete Witch” and “The Satanic Bible”.
So, anyway, I basically joined it because I was on a quest for more knowledge.
S: What does it take to become a Satanist?
B: Well, in terms on the Church of the Church of Satan, all it takes is that you fill in a little application form and you send in your fee – I don’t know what it is now – I think it was $25 when I joined up.
And then you get this little red membership card with black print that says you are a Member of the Infernal Kingdom of Hell.
And it’s got the goats head and the inverted pentagram on it.
And then, basically, you just study stuff and it you want to go forward then you have to fill in a very detailed questionnaire.
And if they deem you ‘worthy’ then you become a 2nd degree member of the Church of Satan, which is called in the case of a male a warlock.
But otherwise, if you want to know about the higher level Satanic stuff, then it’s a lot more complicated.
S: Thank you.
Did you tell the lower level Witches that you had joined the Church of Satan?
Because we felt that they weren’t ready for that information.
You know, it’s kind of like the layers of an onion.
The very essence of any … again, remember, ‘occult’ means ‘hidden’ … so the very essence of any occult society is that the people on the outside are not allowed to know what is going on in the inside, and the people on the inside are not allowed to know what’s going on in the REAL inside.
And it just keeps getting in further and further until you get to, like, the heart of the artichoke.
S: Hmm. What are the different levels of being a Satanist?
B: Well, again, I never got higher in the Church of Satan than a Warlock.
But I realized fairly soon that they were more or less just dabbling around the fringes.
See, the Church of Satan is kind of regarded as window dressing.
It’s like a Public Relations thing.
And it’s a way of drawing in what Anton LaVey called “The rubes”.
See Anton LaVey was a former carnival huckster.
He played the calliope in the circus and played the organ for strippers and stuff like that in the carnival, and so he had a very carnival mentality.
I don’t know if you know anything about carnival people but they call the people that are the “marks”, they call them “the rubes”.
And so the Church of Satan was basically a way of drawing in “the rubes”.
And then those who really had the fire for more, who really wanted to get more stuff, they would somehow or other be led to a more serious organization.
And in my case I first of all got involved … I heard through the grapevine so to speak, because of course there was no internet back in the ‘70s … about an organization in Michigan called the Order of the Black Ram.
And I got involved with them.
And from there I was introduced to “The Brotherhood”, which is the hardcore Satanic organization.
They have basically 10 levels of initiation, and the highest level is called Ipsissimus, which means the very most selfish of self.
S: Oh, nice.
B: It basically means you are living god, you are a living god upon the earth.
I never got that high, sorry to say.
B: But anyway, so basically in hard core Satanism there are 10 levels, and I got up to level 8.
S: Okay, thank you.
You say you became a Satanic Priest. What did you have to do to become that?
B: Well, first of all I had to be a Catholic Priest but that was already kind of half-way taken care of.
And then in order to be ordained into the Satanic Priesthood and The Brotherhood I had to – finally, the big moment – I had to sell my soul to the Devil.
And it was really very strange.
Because there was this beautiful park in a city in suburban Illinois which I was told was basically owned by The Brotherhood.
The whole city was totally controlled by The Brotherhood.
They had a huge mansion there of a very, very wealthy – if I said the name, it’s a major industrial force in America – that were Satanists, and they gave this mansion over to Satanic rituals.
And additionally, this park, which was a fully public park … broad daylight.
It was full of Egyptian statuary and they had this giant trapezoidal altar in the center of the park.
And everywhere you looked were these Satanic looking Egyptian statues and weird statues – you now, it was a public park.
This was the strangest thing – and I’ve gone through a lot of strange things in my day.
But here it was broad daylight –
Beautiful sunny, summer day –
And I was lead down this path.
And there were police cars going all around the park, keeping people out.
S: For your ritual?
B: Yes, for my ritual.
B: And I was lead up to this altar, and there I had to prick my thumb, and sign my name in the Black Book and sell my soul to the Devil.
And for 7 years he was going to own me body, soul and spirit, and I would serve him.
And at the end of the 7 years he would get to kill me and take me to Hell.
But in the meantime, I could have everything I wanted – wine, women, song, wealth, whatever.
S: Wouldn’t you be worried a bit about the next 7 years?
B: Well, first of all I knew if I was a really good boy, I could renew my contract, kind of like a professional football player.
But beyond that, see, we were taught that Hell was this non-stop orgy of sex, drugs, rock and roll, for all eternity.
And that basically … the cosmology if you will of hard core Satanism … see, like the Church of Satan doesn’t even believe in Heaven and Hell.
They believe that you make you own Heaven or your own Hell here in this life – officially that’s their teaching.
Because the Church of Satan doesn’t believe in Satan.
They just believe Satan is like an archetype, kind of a role-play, a ritualized, dramatic figure that you use as a symbol in psycho drama. Okay.
But hard core Satanists do believe in Heaven and Hell.
And we were taught that Hell is basically the place for masters.
For those who are little gods that bestride the earth.
And that Heaven is for the slaves, for the sheep.
Because Heaven is boring.
All you do is sit on a cloud and twang away on a harp for all eternity.
Whereas down in Hell you get to have orgies, and get drunk, and have lots of drugs and everything for all eternity.
S: I see. So how long were you a Satanic Priest?
B: Let me think.
No one has ever actually asked me that question.
Probably about 2 years.
S: Okay. And what did you do?
B: Well, there are certain high Satanic holidays, including every Friday night at midnight, where you celebrate the Satanic Mass.
Plus we would do various rituals.
See, I was a Satanist who was involved with the religion of Thelema as well, Aleister Crowley’s new aeon religion, so we also celebrated what is called the Gnostic Mass.
We did all sorts of other rituals.
We wrote some of our own rituals, in fact, because you are encouraged to do that.
It’s kind of a magickal creativity.
But basically we would do rituals on the high festival days.
And we would do Black Masses on the Friday night at midnight.
And then if there was a need of some sort of initiation – because, just like there is baptism in the Christian religion, there are initiations in Satanism too, on a lower level than the Priesthood.
S: Did other people come to your Masses?
B: A handful. I mean, for one thing, we never advertised this.
I mean, nowhere except maybe somewhere like San Francisco would you advertise “Oh, we are having a Satanic Mass, at midnight.”
So, no. But some of our coveners – maybe 5 or 10 at most.
Just like any church service, some come more than others from week to week.
But the ones that were high enough up to know that we were doing these things, yes, they would come.
S: Okay. Thank you.
Would you give me a history of the Church of Satan and the other branches of Satanism.
B: Well, the Church of Satan officially started in 1966.
And Anton LaVey in that year shaved his head and proclaimed that that was year One of Ano Satanis, like we have Ano Domini , A.D., for the year One of Our Lord.
Well, he said that 1966 was year One, and so to this day if you get the Church of Satan newsletter, which is called The Cloven Hoof, the dates on it, like this year would be AS 39.
And basically he started as a kind of study group.
And started branching out because he was very much a theatrical showman kind of guy with his carnival background.
And he’d walk around the street … he painted his house on California Street … if you have ever heard that pop song about the house on California Street by some rock band, that refers to the Church of Satan, because it was originally an old Victorian House, and he painted it pitch black.
And he’d walk around in black trench coats and a big slouch fedora hat and he’d walk a leopard or a … he actually had a black Nubian lion because he’d been a lion tamer at one time.
So again, very theatrical, very showman-like.
And he’d start celebrating these public Satanic Masses.
Where he’d have a naked girl laying on the fireplace in the main room of his house, and he’d do these Satanic Black Masses.
And he got a lot of members, in the late 60s and early 70s – it was immensely popular.
He had people from the movies join like the actress Jane Mansfield, who some may recall as being a kind of sex goddess, and Sammy Davis Junior was a member of the Church of Satan.
He even had one of his members was a Green Beret, and he got killed in Vietnam, and so LaVey got to do the first military funeral in Arllington Cemetery for a Satanist.
B: And he also did the first Satanic baptism, which was his daughter Zena.
And, you know, gathered a lot of publicity.
He got tarnished a little by what happened with Jane Mansfield’s death.
Because, see, Jane Mansfield’s agent felt that her involvement with the Church of Satan would hurt her publicity, her career in Hollywood.
Because she would actually pose … like there is this one famous picture of her where she is in this kind of voluptuous sexy gown and she is kneeling at LaVey’s feet drinking out of this huge goblet, a very Satanic-looking goblet.
And the agent said, well, this was hurting her career.
And so LaVey told the agent to stop messing with his relationship with Mansfield.
And the agent wouldn’t stop.
And so LaVey put a curse on him.
And he told him, you’d better watch it because you are going to be beheaded.
And he warned Jane Mansfield to stay away from him, because he said, once you send a malignant bolt of energy out there, there is no way to control it.
And if you are anywhere near this creep, you might get it too.
Well, just a few weeks later they were driving along some California highway and a semi truck came along and hit them head-on and the hood of the car just came through and decapitated them both, just like a guillotine.
And the press asked him, “Did you regret doing that?”
And he said, “No I don’t, because he deserved to die, and I warned her to stay away from him and she didn’t.”
So that’s a typical example of Satanic ethics.
And anyhow, but the memberships started waning off.
And, really, now … there was a certain upsurge in the 80s with a kind of Satanism thing going on, but they don’t ever have more than 2,000 or 3,000 members worldwide.
It’s not a very big organization.
But, then, see, again, they are just the outer branch.
Now, what happened, I think it was in the 70s that LaVey’s right hand man who is much more dangerous, Lieutenant Colonel Michael Aquino, he broke away.
He was like the second in command of the whole Church of Satan.
He broke away because he DID believe that there was a real Devil.
He did believe that there was a real dark god.
And he felt that LaVey was sort of … what word should I use … sort of prostituting the whole thing.
And so he started his own organization called the Temple of Set.
And of course Set is the name of the Egyptian version of the Devil.
And Aquino, who is a very intelligent guy, he’s got a Ph.D. in political science –
He was – I don’t know if he still is – very high up in Military Intelligence in the U.S. Army.
He said that Set, the Devil, whatever, represents the principle of spiritual alienation.
He said that the reason why man, or woman for that matter, feels alone, feels alienated from the rest of nature, we feel like we are not really part of nature, not really part of the universe, that that is okay, because we are apart from the universe, we are a superior being, we are a god in the making.
And he believed that he was kind of like a John the Baptist to the coming of Set.
And he even went to Wewelsburg Castle which was bombed into ruins during World War II – it’s in Bavaria, and Wewelsburg was the temple of the S.S., so it was the black spiritual heart of Nazism.
And he went there because he liked the energy.
And Aquino went to Wewelsburg Castle and did a ritual – he called it the “Callling forth by night”.
And he actually invoked the same dark god that Aleister Crowley invoked a generation earlier, named Aiwass.
And Aiwass was basically the spiritual avatar of Satan.
And supposedly at that time, Aquino was anointed to kind of be the spokesman for Set.
And really, right now, the Temple of Set is doing a lot more dynamic – if I can use that word – stuff, in terms of Satanic theology – if one may use the word, than the Church of Satan.
Then of course, there is The Brotherhood, which is behind both of them.
And The Brotherhood is an organization which basically operates out of Trieste, Italy.
It’s the hard core Satanic group that covers really the whole world.
There are leaders of it in America, there are leaders of it in Latin America, and in virtually every continent.
So, that is the 10 tier organization.
And the major centers of it in America are in New York, in Los Angeles, in Chicago and also in Vancouver, British Columbia.
They are the major nerve centers of it.
S: Thank you. What are some of the other things that are taught in Satanism?
B: Well, I mentioned their kind of eschatology, if you will, they believe that the Devil is going to dethrone the true God.
They believe there will be an Armageddon-like battle in which he will come and use all the lost souls that are under his power – the millions of people on earth and the millions of people who are in Hell, and he will invade Heaven and he will bring down the kingdom of Yahweh.
And he will set up his throne again and rule the universe.
That’s their kind of apocalyptic vision.
And they believe that for the last 2,000 years Jesus has been tormented in Hell by demons.
They believe he did NOT rise from the dead.
And basically they hate Jesus with all their might.
And they believe that originally – this is kind of hard to explain – that originally God and the Devil made a deal.
And that all the people who were mighty, and were masters, and were giants on the earth, so to speak, not literally giants but great men and women, that they would get to go to Hell.
And that all the losers and peons would get to go to Heaven.
But what wasn’t in the bargain was that Satan’s reputation would be vilified.
And so Satan got mad because he was getting all of this negative press from God’s press people.
And so there was this rebellion in Heaven.
And that’s kind of the strange theology behind all of this.
Is the idea that somehow God stabbed Satan in the back, and Satan wants his kingdom back.
S: That’s really what people do when they do something bad to you, they will turn around and turn the story back at you.
B: Oh, of course. Sure.
And of course, Satan is the ultimate egomaniac.
He was, as we said earlier, the greatest of all of Yahweh’s angelic beings.
And he got lifted up in his pride and thought he could become exactly like God, and of course that’s not possible.
S: Why do they hate Jesus so much?
B: Well, partly because he represents everything they hate.
He represents gentleness and they value strength – not that Yahushua isn’t strong. He is.
But the typical … I’ll never forget what I think it was Ben Kinchloe said … he said that as a young man who was in prison he never wanted to have anything to do with Jesus as he was popularly portrayed because he said he seemed like this whimpy looking guy why hung out with sheep and wore a dress.
You know, that’s the popular conception of Jesus, that he was sort of whimpy.
The gentle Jesus, meek and mild kind of thing.
And people forget that the same Yahushua who preached the Sermon on the Mount, who fed the 5,000 loaves and fishes, is also the same Yahushua who is going to be coming, who is going to crack the skies and the heavens and the earth are going to roll back like a scroll and he is going to come down and blow away a 200,000,000 (two hundred million) man army with one word out of his mouth.
But you see, people don’t like to say that. They don’t like to think about that.
They like the nice little, cuddly safe Jesus.
They like the lamb, they don’t like the lion of the tribe of Judah.
So, anyway, I’m starting to preach here.
S: That’s okay.
B: The point is that Jesus represents self-sacrifice to the Satanists.
And they don’t believe in that.
They believe in doing everything for yourself.
And also this whole idea of loving your enemy, doing good …
They say “Smite your enemy on the cheek. Smite him hip and thigh with a sore slaughter that he might go away and know that he should not attack a great master such as you are”.
They talk about knocking there teeth out and everything.
It’s the total inversion, and of course … see the word “Satan”, “ha Satan” in “Hebrew” means “the adversary”.
So whatever Yahweh is, Satan isn’t.
It’s like, you know, this (Bill does hand movements here?)
So, Satanism is designed to be a mirror image of Christianity.
Where Christianity zags, it zigs.
And so where Christianity is kind and gentle and has hospitals for the sick and elderly, Satanism says you should just kill the worthless bunch.
Whereas Christianity advocates turning the other cheek, they say smite them on both cheeks.
That kind of thing.
S: What other lies are they told?
B: Well, obviously they are told … at one point in the Satanic Bible which even hard core … I personally believe that the Satanic Bible was actually channeled by LaVey.
It actually is the words of Satan, at least in part.
Just because I have, I believe, heard the voice of Satan on a few occasions and it’s very much in his character.
And he says at one point, “You do not need a redeemer. Say to thyself “I am mine own redeember.” “
And in another place it says, “Behold the crucifix. What does it symbolize? Pallid incompetence hanging on a tree.”
And in another place it says “I take my axe and I split open the worm eaten skull of Jehovah and I spit in his rheumy blind eye”.
I mean, just really nasty stuff about the Almighty.
And they are taught basically that there is nothing … that you are kind of walking as a master upon the earth.
And that some people, if they don’t get out of your way, that they can be killed.
Now, they will be very careful to say, not literally go out and, you know, like blow them away with a .44 magnum or something.
But you are allowed in Satanism –
They have three rituals.
They have a ritual of lust in the Satanic Bible.
And a ritual of compassion.
And a ritual of destruction.
And you do the ritual of lust if you want to seduce someone, you know, it doesn’t matter which sex.
You do the ritual of compassion if you want to heal someone or sort of ‘bless’ someone – although I hesitate to use that word ‘bless’ in this context.
Finally, the ritual of destruction is just what it sounds like.
You throw a curse, and it’s a nasty ritual.
If you read the thing … it’s one of the rituals I talked about earlier, how we tried to curse this lady who was a Christian lady and it just kind of bounced off her.
Just nasty stuff.
It has lines in it like, “We ask that the voiceless bird of nothingness would feed upon this person’s rotten, putrid brain.”
And all of this really, bizarre …
And you are supposed to sit there and actually say, in the Satanic Bible, you supposed to sit there and work yourself up into a blind, berserker, furious rage.
Because again, the three keys of magick are essentially to be in a certain relaxed mental state, to visualize what you want and then to put the emotional content, the desire, behind it.
In its most basic form, you can throw out all the trapping, all the little bells and candles and pentagrams, those are the three things you have to do.
That’s what is called Mental Magick.
And so Satanism teaches that if you are going to kill like what LaVey did with this guy, you just throw out this bolt of energy with all the hatred, all of the venom, all of the vitriol you can possibly imagine and it’s going to just go out there like a nuclear bomb on the psychic plain.
So, they are also of course told, again, that there is no real God, there is no Hell, there is no Heaven in the Church of Satan.
They are taught also a kind of Ayn Rand like objectivist ethics.
In other words, radical selfishness, where everything amounts to me.
And if there is nothing in it for me, I won’t do it.
Things like that.
I’m trying to think of what other lies they are taught.
You might as well just say they are taught everything exactly the opposite of what even conventional society teaches.
B: So if you are taught to love your neighbor, they say, well if your neighbor is worth loving, maybe love him.
Especially if they are cute and attractive and you can get them in the sack.
But if they are not, then despise them, or at least ignore them.
How is it that people become more and more entrenched in the Church of Satan and all of these different levels?
What is the thing that actually … ?
B: Well, it’s a spiritual bondage.
Once you put your foot …
Now, see, that is the funny thing.
Anton LaVey never asked you to sell your soul to the Devil.
He says in some of his writings that it’s the Christians that want souls.
Satan isn’t interested in souls.
Of course that isn’t true.
But that’s … so the Church of Satan never does that.
You will never get a letter from them saying, “Okay, now it’s time for your to sell your soul to the Devil.”
They wait until you get higher up to do that.
But, again, once you swear allegiance in some way or another to the Devil, knowingly, it just blows open all the doors of Hell in your life.
It’s like you are standing there spiritually naked saying, “Okay, come in.”
And I even remember, literally, kneeling before a Satanic altar and begging demons to come into me.
Because I believed that the demons would give me more and more magickal power.
So at first for me it was a quest for knowledge.
But then it ultimately became also a quest for power.
But at the same time … see, this is the paradox … I believed that by doing this I would be helping people.
I believed that I would have the power to heal people, to make money out of thin air so that I could help my friends and my family, I believed that I would have the power to almost become a kind of … because one of the suggested readings in the Church of Satan is the philosopher Nietzsche.
You know, the idea of man and superman.
And of course, Nietzsche is the philosopher who said that God is dead.
And he is also the philosopher who said the Church is the grave of God.
And that if you want to smell God’s rotting corpse, go into a church.
S: But, he was talking about Catholicism?
B: He was talking about any form of Christianity, he just hated Christianity in general.
And so that’s naturally why the Church or Satan likes him.
So, you know, we were taught this idea that we would become like a superman almost – not literally flying around with a red cape and blue tights, but having all these mighty powers and being able to help people.
And that’s what I thought I was on my road to.
S: And did you know any people who were like that?
B: Well … I don’t want to get ahead of my story, so to speak, but as I got involved with the Illuminati, I met people who did seem to have pretty miraculous powers.
Nothing as spectacular as that, but yes, yes I did.
S: And did their lives end up getting better and better?
B: Well, they ended up dead, but of course, don’t we all?
It’s just, the difference is, what kind of retirement plan do you have after you die?
B: But, in fact, no, most of the people we knew that were in Satanism, their lives were pretty miserable.
Suicides – and of course, again, Satanists have no problem with suicides.
They would say, well, if your life stinks at this particular time, fine, put a bullet through your head.
See, Satanists do believe in having fun, and having some sort of –they say joy – but I don’t think joy and Satanism can ever be in the sentence together – but they would say if you are not enjoying your life, then you are probably a worthless piece of trash and just go out and put your head in an oven.
The idea of compassion is utterly alien to these people.
There are no Satanist orphanages or Satanist soup kitchens for the poor and needy.
S: What about for their own children?
B: What do you mean?
S: Well, children are weak at that time, so …
B: Well, they believe … I mean, LaVey has gone on record as saying, because when this Satanist thing started up, like with the television Giraldo Rivera special and some of these other things back in the late 80s, they felt they had to come up with a public statement.
And they said, well, “Satanists do not abuse children.
We regard children as one of nature’s greatest gifts. We believe that all children are by nature the truest Satanists.”
He actually said that, because see all children are eminently selfish.
They think they are the center of the universe.
And psychologically, you understand, this is more or less true.
That they think they are the center or the universe and me, me, me.
Satanists say that basically the way children are at the age of 2 is the way everybody should be.
You know, I want what I want, when I want it.
And if I don’t get it, I’m going to kill someone.
I mean, babies don’t say that, because they aren’t able to really do anything.
So, they do believe … obviously for their own children, they would have regard and try to raise them according to their best sense of what was right and wrong.
Because even Satanists have some sort of ethics, it’s just that it’s so weird and twisted and pragmatic.
But, I would daresay that they would certainly have no problem with having an abortion and they would probably be in favor, like if they had a child with some sort of handicap, like Down’s Syndrome or something, just kill the thing.
They don’t believe in having worthless eaters around.
S: Right. Where do Satanists perform their rituals?
B: Well, we did ours in our home.
We had a special … erhum, boy, that home … back in Milwaukee.
I mean, I feel sorry for whoever moved into that home after we were in it.
The funny thing is, the person who moved into that home after we did died of cancer within 3 months.
S: Oh! Wow.
B: And it was because that house that we lived in was a haunted house.
It tried to kill, especially Sharon, on numerous occasions.
But Sharon was better than it was, more powerful, more savvy.
One time it blew up the furnace right in her face.
And you know, just little things like that.
You want to talk about the movie the Amytville Horror, well that had nothing on this house.
But we had this chapel where we did Gnostic Masses, Vampire Masses and Catholic Masses and Satanic Masses.
I mean you name it …
S: You were busy.
B: Oh yes. In fact every room (laugh) – this was a big, old blue house on Michigan Avenue in downtown Milwaukee, looked like a giant blue barn – we didn’t paint it, our landlord did, and every room of that house was given over to the occult.
Except for the living room and the kitchen.
We slept in the closet – literally.
And we had 5 or 6 different temples in there and our whole lives were dedicated to this.
B: We were totally, radically sold out to this stuff.
So, anyhow, I don’t know how I got off on that tangent …
S: Asking where do some other Satanists do things?
B: Outdoors. Because kind of like Witches they believe in the power of nature.
Like, for example, the ceremony I discussed where I sold my soul to the Devil, that was done I in a park.
Sometimes, a lot of Satanists will say, if they can they like to do rituals either on a crossroads where there is running water or else by the ocean or by a lake.
Like when we could we did rituals by Lake Michigan.
Some of the real … for example … there are some places where if you are in the right place at the right time and you are a Satanist you can go to a mansion of the very wealthy and powerful.
The closest I can tell people is there is this very weird, evil movie, the last movie of Stanley Kubrick called “Eyes Wide Shut”.
And it basically gives a very real example of a Satanic Ritual.
S: Yes, I think a lot of people didn’t realize what they were seeing in that movie.
S: They thought it was an orgy, but it didn’t look like an orgy.
S: Can you explain a bit more about that movie?
B: Well, and I don’t know, because oddly enough Kubrick was an atheist, a Jewish atheist by the way, which is sort of unnerving, but he …
I don’t really know what he was trying to do with the movie.
I know there is this book by I think a German writer called Arthur Schnitzler I think the name is “Traumnovelle”, meaning “Dream Story”, and he wanted to make that movie for years.
Basically I mean the middle of the movie, this doctor ends up being able to get into this very exclusive party, where there are all these rituals.
Like a guy is sitting on a throne, and there are all of these naked girls running around with masks on, and they kneel in a circle, and there is incense and there is chanting, and then you see, everybody goes off and starts fornicating like crazy.
S: But in a very ritualized way.
B: In a very ritualized way.
S: Is that what happens?
B: Well, in some cases, yes.
Because, it depends on what kind of ritual you are doing, but it is believed in almost all of these different occult groups that part of the function of this is raising power.
And then there is the element of desire.
Now, the strongest desire that any human being can experience is sexual desire.
I mean, even more than the desire for food.
And so, the idea is that, okay, we are going to reify, or imagine that we want such and such a thing.
And then in a regular old white witchcraft circle, everybody would imagine this and they would start dancing.
And they would dance around real fast in this circle and there would be this chanting going on.
And their auras would start blending together into this vortex of energy.
And it would start rising and rising and rising in what is called a cone of power.
And then finally when the High Priestess felt as though that energy was as high as it was going to get, she would shout out “Harryahya” and they would fire off this cone of energy toward, like if they were going to heal someone, or whatever the case might be.
Well, in Satanism it’s kind of the same thing, but again the gloves are off.
And so the idea is that, okay, if everyone is out there fornicating there brains out and doing whatever other things – there might be flagellation going on, there might be torture going on, whatever it takes to raise the energy.
And of course in a hard core Satanic group that would … see, they believe that the two best ways to raise energy for Satanic ritual are either the sexual act or by murdering something, either an animal or a person.
And that … because of course if you kill even an animal, an enormous amount of energy is released, because the animal is terrified, and so there is just a lot of energy released.
And with a human being there is even more energy released.
And they believe especially the most … now again the Church of Satan and the Temple of Set would deny they every do these things, but yet I was told when I was in the organization that part of the reason LaVey kept lions in his basement was that it’s a good way to get rid of the bodies.
B: He would just feed them to the lions. And that saves on the meat budget.
And, so, the ultimately made him get rid of the lions, because I mean, have you ever heard a lion roar?
It would wake up the whole neighborhood.
B: And so finally the City of San Francisco Health Department made him get rid of the lion. He had to donate it to a zoo.
But the hard core Satanists would think … okay, ideally sexual orgies are good, because they are fun, but if you really want to raise energy, the ultimate kind of power, you have to sacrifice someone.
The first is a baby, because there is this huge amount of life energy, because the child is just barely even born and they’ve got a whole 60, 70, 80 years of life in them.
Next is a virgin and then finally anybody.
S: And, where do they get all these people from?
B: Well, some of them are homeless people.
Some of them are prostitutes that don’t know what they are getting themselves into.
Some of them are people who are actually raised within the coven – kids that are born without having any documentation.
They were born at home by midwives and such. And they are just raised until they get them to whatever age they want them to be and then they are killed.
And some of them are people that they kidnap like … because hardcore Satanists really get off on the idea if they can find a Christian that they can kill, especially on certain high ritual days like Easter or Christmas.
They love, if they can find somebody who’s a professed Christian, and kidnap them, they’ll do it.
S: Were you ever involved in any of these human murder rituals?
B: No, fortunately not. I was involved in some animal sacrifices.
I think the worst I ever did was I sacrificed a hamster.
But … I still feel very bad about that, because I think that’s very reprehensible.
But, no, thankfully Yahweh got me out of all that before I ever had to do something like that.
But I know at the time I was moving in that direction.
We will talk more about that later.
Am I right in saying that some Satanists like performing their rituals in rubbish dumps?
B: Well, yes.
There are some groups … you see, it depends. This is very much like the Catholic Church, in that there are, like the Catholic Church has Masses where they have purple vestments, and they have Masses where they have red vestments, and they have Masses where they have white vestments.
And all this stuff means something.
Well, similarly, if you are doing a certain kind of ritual, on a certain kind of feast day, then some Satanic groups … see, some Satanic groups are called Neo-Gothic.
And they are the ones who like to do it in old churches, and have all these robes and incense and black candles and stuff like that.
Kind of like an old horror movie.
Like the movie “The Devil Rides Out” or something.
Now on the other hand, the Satanists who are considered really hard core Satanists will do things in like what you are describing, where they will find some really ghastly place – a graveyard, or a garbage dump or something of that nature, that’s really disgusting, that smells awful.
Like if there are methane fires burning, and all of these symbols. …
This one outfit that I went to they hung dozens of dead dogs all over their chapel, that were dead for weeks.
B: Flies buzzing, and it smelled just awful.
But because, again, Satan is the Lord of the Flies, Beelzebub
So, it depends on what aspect of this they are trying to get at.
S: Please tell us about your experience on one of Saturn’s moons.
B: (laugh). Well, in the middle of being involved in all of this stuff, especially the Satanic stuff, I had gone to visit my parents who lived about 150 miles away in a little tiny town farm, in Iowa, from where we were living in Milwaukee.
And the darndest thing happened.
I was … for some reason my wife, Sharon, had stayed behind and so I was alone in my own bed.
And I had this … at first I thought that it was a dream.
I dreamed that I had been taken out of the bed and sort of levitated through the roof and I was flying through space.
And as I was flying along I suddenly realized I was approaching the planet Saturn.
Of course, Saturn is obviously the easiest planet to identify because of the rings.
And as I got nearer to it I realized I was going towards one of the moons.
And as I got nearer to it, I saw that this moon was totally black.
I mean, it barely reflected the light of the sun.
It was kind of like a piece of charcoal.
And as I got closer still, I saw this really ghastly looking … well, the only word I can use to describe it is this obscenely Transyuggothian temple.
I mean, it looked like nothing you have ever seen on earth.
Weird angles, pustulant things sticking out of it that looked like tumors, just really very … the closest thing … imagine if you, if any of your viewers have ever been to the Denver Airport in Colorado.
Imagine if you took the Denver Airport and painted it flat black and then covered it with tumors.
S: Could you just define Transyuggothian for a second for those of us who don’t know?
B: Well, that’s a term that’s used in black magick.
It literally means “trans Plutonian”.
In other words, magick that comes from beyond our solar system.
Yuggoth is the ancient name for the planet Pluto.
The term actually comes from the writings of H.P. Lovecraft, and we will probably talk more about that later.
But anyway, so, this really bizarre-looking temple with strange, weird angles … and the walls of the temple .. now let me describe, if anybody had seen the movie 2001 and the way the surface of the model of that black thing that shows up at the beginning – that looks like a giant Hershey Bar.
It was so black that no light would come out of it.
It looked like just utter blackness.
And I was lead through the door of this thing, and inside was this guy who had been kind of my mentor in the Illuminati … you know, I didn’t know at this point if this was a dream, or an astral projection, or if it was like an abduction or something, but he was standing there in this white robe, glowing.
And I knew him at that time as the Master “M”.
And he said – or was it the Master “H”? – I can’t remember at this point.
Anyhow, he said, “Welcome to the Cathedral of Pain”.
B: That doesn’t sound real good.
Here I was standing here stark naked, in the middle of outer space.
And he lead me in – these big doors opened and creaked just like the latest horror movie and I walked into this giant cathedral.
I mean, it was as big as any cathedral I’ve ever been in, except that the lighting was very somber, the architecture was very insane and the only illumination came from the walls, but instead of stained glass windows they had these giant glass walls that looked like an aquarium.
Except that in the aquarium were floating all of these naked, mutilated dead bodies of men, women and children.
In that kind of bluish light that comes out of an aquarium.
And that was the only illumination, except for some black tapers that were burning.
And he instructed me to go and lay on this altar.
There was this alter that was shaped like a giant trapezoid that was made out of weird, jagged, rusty-looking steel girders.
And I was bound to this altar.
It wasn’t looking real good by this time.
I was getting kind of nervous, because I didn’t know if this was a nightmare or what it was.
Because I had had other kind of similar experiences like this but none this horrible or this vivid.
And all of a sudden, all of these people came out, and they were all wearing black robes, and they all started chanting in French, oddly enough.
And they started chanting all of these blasphemous things like “Blaspheme God”, “Hail Satan”, “Spit on God”, all of this stuff, “Cursed is God forever”, things of that nature.
This was going on and on and on for an interminable amount of time and I felt like I was freezing to death and I felt power coursing through me.
And all of a sudden there was this throne on the far end of the room, kind of like where the altar would be in a Catholic Cathedral.
It was a massive throne, made out of steel girders.
And over it was an inverted pentagram.
And all of a sudden, this being started appearing on the altar.
At first, it was just a shimmering white light.
And then, it coalesced into this … first of all it appeared like this almost angelic figure, BEAUTIFUL blonde-haired, really gorgeous male, and then all of a sudden the change became this goat-headed goat of Mendes.
And then it changed again and it became like a winged bull.
And it kept coruscating back and forth, alternating faster than the eye can see between these two forms.
And he rose from the chair – and this was a massive figure – it was easily 20 feet tall, and strode down to where I was laying on this altar, and he had these really long talons, like the talons were probably about this long.
I was lying there on my back, tied up.
And he came up to me and he drove this talon into my forehead and it was just like a searing red-hot poker of light and it seemed to go right in to the middle of my cerebral cortex and all these people were chanting all of this blasphemous stuff in the background still.
And he says, “Now you belong to me forever, body, soul and spirit.”
And I felt this blinding white light fill my mind and it was just like someone poured white-hot molten metal all over my brain.
I have never known such pain in my life.
And the next thing I knew, I was hurtling back to earth in this comet, in this fire-ball, faster than you can imagine.
And my head was still throbbing like a son of a gun, and all of a sudden I came to the earth’s atmosphere and landed – BLAM – right in the backyard of my parents’ house.
And oddly enough the thing that came into my head, because I had been studying at the seminary some time, and I knew a little bit of the Bible, that one line where Yahushua says “Behold, I saw Satan fall like lightning from Heaven”.
And I thought of that.
I was literally laying there in this small crater, literally, in my back yard, with fire burning around me, just like I had landed from some kind of weird spaceship or other.
And so I staggered back – fortunately, it was still 2 or 3 o’clock in the morning – and I staggered back into my room.
And my head was just throbbing like I had the world’s mother of all hangovers.
And I went to bed and I woke up and I thought – “Was that all a dream?”
And I looked out, and there it was on the lawn, and my father and mother wondered what the heck had happened to their lawn.
And also, I had this scar on my forehead.
So….that’s the story of the moon of Saturn.
S: That is a unique story. Thank you for telling us.
B: (laugh) And, you know, people ask me, “Were you on drugs?”.
I mean, you now, I had certainly taken hallucinogenic drugs in the past, but, no, I was not on any drugs.
S: And the lawn hadn’t taken any drugs.
B: No, the lawn hadn’t taken drugs (laugh)
And, I think it was some kind of genuine experience.
It was basically my Luciferian initiation.
Where I got ‘enlightened’ so to speak.
But the light was the light of Lucifer, it was not the light of Yahweh.
S: And it was very painful, too.
B: Yes, yes, oh – it was one of … I think still, the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life, in terms of physical pain.
S: Horrible. Yuck. Thank you.
Part 2: Channelling, Freemasonry
Part 3: Freemasonry, Catholicism, Mormonism
Part 4: Catholic Church, Luciferianism, Satanism
Part 5: Satanism, Saturn
Part 6: Black magic, White Magic, Satanism, Mormonism
Part 7: Mormonism, Reptilians, Satanism, Voodoo, Zombies
Part 8: Black magic, Walt Disney, Vampirism
Part 9: Vampires, Werewolves, Illuminati
Copyright ©: Stephanie Relfe 2014 – 3000
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